This is the track where you’ll see a side of Zero and Kaname that you’ve never seen before, and apparently the seiyuu’s had a lot of fun recording this. Please feel free to correct me if you spot any errors!
Lala Gorgeous Drama CD (November 2006)
Track 1 – Vampire Knight
錐生零：宮野真守 玖蘭枢：岸尾だいすけ 黒主理事長：子安武人
Zero: Monthly Lala furoku drama CD – Vampire Knight
Chairman: Eh… *clears throat* Kiryuu-kun~ Kiryuu Zero-kun~ Where are you napping while playing truant? Yuuki is worried and crying while looking for you. You’re such a useless guy for making a girl cry.
Zero: *shock* Huh! Huh?
Chairman: In any case, I guess you’re sleeping in an empty classroom somewhere. Please show your face at the Chairman’s office. Ah! I accidentally said “show your face”! *laugh* Ah… I subconsciously end up using “dirty” words while talking to Kiryuu-kun… *laugh* Ah, I’m out of time.
Zero: Ehhh… that idiot Chairman! Don’t broadcast something so foolish! There should be no reason as to why Yuuki would cry over such a thing. … She won’t cry… right? I believe that Yuuki has a stout heart (mind). However, there are times where I feel that she’s only pretending to be tough for the sake of convincing herself [that she’s tough]. Sometimes… she can’t be understood. *walks* *yawn* I’m sleepy. It’s troublesome, but I’ll go to the Chairman’s office.
*Zero knocks on the door to the Chairman’s office*
Chairman: Stone construction! No, please come in.
Kaname: Good afternoon.
Zero: … Kuran Kaname.
Kaname: You don’t have to look as though you ate something unpleasant.
Zero: I have a feeling that something like this happened before.
Chairman: What? What are you talking about?
Zero: Nothing. Where’s Yuuki?
Chairman: She dropped by for a while earlier, but I was just joking when I said that she was crying, so you don’t have to worry.
Zero: No one said that they were worried.
Kaname: Not even a little? Mmm… if that’s true, then you are a pitiable person.
Chairman: S- st- stop, Kaname-kun. Kiryuu-kun is actually a really good person.
Zero: In any case, I thought that the Chairman was just talking nonsense. To say that Yuuki was crying-
Chairman: Too bad! Actually, saying that Yuuki was searching for you was also nonsense.
Zero: Then what did you call me for!!!
Chairman: Ah, a murderous beam just shot out from Kiryuu-kun’s eyes.
Kaname: The Chairman called us because he had something to discuss with us. If we said it in that manner, would you still come here obediently?
Zero: Who knows.
Chairman: Well… making use of Yuuki to call Kiryuu-kun was a quick and easy method (to get you to come). Yuuki also gave her consent.
Zero: Then, I just got hooked on to the bait which was Yuuki?
Chairman: Well, there’s nothing bad about that.
Zero: No, that’s not good.
Kaname: It’s really tiresome to deal with Kiryuu-kun.
Zero: Isn’t it? I’m sorry, the shady Kuran-senpai.
Kaname: Sorry for being so shady.
Chairman: *nervous laughter* Hey, the two of you are scary. For a moment, the atmosphere was frightening! This is it~ the terror that Yuuki always tastes.
Kaname: Yuuki said that?
Zero: It doesn’t seem like there’s anything important. I’m going back.
Chairman: Go back if you don’t care about whatever happens to Yuuki.
Kaname: The fact is that you’re worried.
Zero: That’s why-!
Chairman: Stop! Stop! The both of you, always arguing over her head like that, have you never thought that Yuuki might develop alopecia areata (baldness) because of stress?
Zero: Don’t tell me- has it already happened?! A circular, bald patch…
Chairman: That’s right, though it’s at an inconspicuous spot. For the sake of the happiness of my cute daughter, I hid it, but unless the cause of it disappears, there’s a chance that it will continue to increase.
Kaname: Honestly, I don’t think that it’s that bad. However, It’s certainly something pitiable.
Zero: So, you called Kuran-senpai and I, and confined us to this room because you thought that the problem can be settled if we got along?
Chairman: That’s right! Today, for the sake of the bright future of Yuuki’s hair, Kiryuu-kun, Kaname-kun, please become good friends no matter what. Well, shall we begin?
Zero: *sigh* It’s just a waste of time. I’m going.
Chairman: N—–o! Talk to each other properly.
Zero: Please- move- away!
Chairman: I- won’t-! Even if such a confrontation might be enjoyed at the cost of my life, I can’t let you escape! (Not sure if I got this part correct.) No!!! Save me Kaname-kun! Zero is trying to make lots of holes in me with his gun.
Kaname: That’s fine, Kiryuu-kun, let the Chairman be at ease with one shot — even though I want to say that.
*Kaname grabs Zero’s gun*
Zero: Won’t you take you hand away, Kuran-senpai?
Kaname: I’ll let go if you are able to discuss this obediently. Yuuki is important to me, so if it’s for Yuuki, I’ll be able to endure even the most unpleasant things.
Chairman: *claps* Woah! Kaname-kun is such an adult.
Kaname: It’s just that the Chairman is foolish.
Chairman: I thought you’d say that.
Zero: I think that if we were to talk, things will get worse, and Yuuki’s baldness will worsen.
Kaname: Kiryuu-kun, isn’t that dependent on our effort?
Chairman: *laugh* That’s right! The both of you~ sit on the sofa! Ah! Right~ I still have some of the tea that Ichijou gave me the other day.
Kaname: Well, shall we have a proper chat? Sit down too, Kiryuu-kun.
Zero: Beside you? *sigh* It’s okay, I’ll stand here.
Kaname: I feel irritated with you looking down at me from there.
Zero: Didn’t you say that you’ll be able to endure earlier on?
Kaname: That’s right.
Chairman: Hey~ the two of you are immature~ Well, it’s fine; you’re both wholesome youths with a future, and if you’re able to become proper adults in future — but Yuuki’s problem cannot wait any longer.
Chairman: Don’t laugh at that. Kiryuu-kun, can you believe this? In the past, Kaname-kun also used to believe that the lies I jokingly told were true; he was pure! I wonder when he became so evil~ Come! Have some tea~ The tea-cake is narazuke (vegetables pickled in sake lees)!
Zero: He was already like that when I was brought here. … Narazuke?
Kaname: I don’t want to be said of that way by you, who suddenly slashed at me at our first meeting. Thanks for that, it hurt.
Zero: Sorry about that.
Chairman: That’s it! The two of you have a feud because of Kiryuu-kun’s reckless incident 4 years ago! What~ I was so certain that it was because the both of you were fighting for the effeminate Yuuki. … Hmm? What’s wrong with the both of you?
Zero: Does it appear that way to others?
Chairman: It does for me; but I don’t know about other people.
Zero: What’s with that? It sucks.
Kaname: Are you complaining? If you dislike Yuuki, then be that way.
Chairman: Look, Kiryuu-kun is just trying to protect his image; he doesn’t mean it.
Zero: Didn’t you ask us to talk together? For the sake of decreasing the stress on Yuuki’s head
Kaname: Well, if the cause of Yuuki’s troubles is our feud that started from that incident from 4 years ago, do you think that we can become friends now, like what the Chairman hopes for?
Zero: As long as you are Kuran Kaname, that’s impossible.
Kaname: I feel the same. As long as Kiryuu-kun is Kiryuu-kun, I don’t intend to harbour any good feelings towards you.
Zero: I know. Even though Yuuki is imperceptive, she has probably noticed that Kuran-senpai is unexpectedly petty-minded.
Kaname: You’re really intolerant as well. If the other party was Yuuki, she would think that I’m really kind.
Chairman: Don’t the two of you understand each other really well!
Zero & Kaname: Understand?
Chairman: That was nicely harmonised.
Kaname: I feel terrible!
Zero: It’s not understanding; it’s just that it’s something noticeable!
Chairman: Yes, yes, I know, I know! Hmm… How should I put it… Your faces give off murderous looks when you see each other, even outside here. Before old wounds can be healed, new ones are inflicted. That’s bad! I’m sure Yuuki doesn’t want to be shown such things. (Not sure about some parts.)
Kaname: I’m sure she can’t stand to see it.
Chairman: (Something I don’t quite get.) But it seems like you already knew it.
Chairman: Aiya? Kiryuu-kun~ did something strike you?
Zero: Is that so… Because of this, Yuuki is gradually balding…
Chairman: Ooo… have you finally understood Yuuki’s feelings?
Zero: I felt a sense of reponsibility. *bangs wall* Sorry, Yuuki.
Chairman: Ah, don’t bang the wall. Look, think about what’s going to happen from now on properly.
Kaname: We should at least decide on a counter-measure to take when we meet from now on… Mmm… why are you looking here disgustingly, Chairman.
Chairman: *laugh* The Kaname-kun at such a place, secretly in a strategy meeting, is kind of charming. It’s an appearance not shown to the Night Class.
Chairman: Wah! What’s with those eyes that seem as though they are looking at the subtitles while the news is streaming?
Zero: Isn’t that because you’re saying things without reading the atmosphere? Isn’t Kuran-senpai being exceptionally serious?
Kaname: Thank you, Kiryuu-kun. Right, I have never thought about matters regarding Yuuki in carelessly.
Zero: Is that so, me too.
Chairman: It’s no good if you don’t speak up uproperly, Kiryuu-kun! You’ll lose!
Zero: Is this the head that has been thinking of unnecessary stuff since the beginning?!
Chairman: Stop turning my head, it hurts, it hurts! My head is creaking. Ah, ah, sorry, I didn’t behave like a mature adult.
Kaname: That’s always the case anyway.
Zero: So, what do you think is the best thing to do, Chairman?
Chairman: Hmm… it’d be good if the two of you talk together. Be frank about all the unhappiness you’ve had with each other until now. Well then, I’ll take my leave first. Eh, the both of you absolutely can’t leave until you open your hearts to each other. Power invoked! This is the Chairman’s order.
Chairman: Show me your effort for Yuuki’s sake!
Kaname: Seems like he locked us in from the outside.
Zero: Something like this happened before… Ah, no, what’s with our school, do we only have ageing or suspicious teachers?
Kaname: For something done by the Chairman, who accepts vampires as students, this much is only normal. Besides, he’s your guardian.
Zero: No way.
Kaname: Have some tea. It’s almost cooled. Well, what shall we do?
Zero: Just like what the Chairman said, to speak our minds, accept and get to know each other?
Kaname: And you think that we’ll be able to open our hearts?
Zero: No, not at all.
Kaname: Me too. That’s the end.
Zero: Just one thing, can I ask an insignificant question?
Zero: Are you going to eat that narazuke?
Kaname: This? I don’t know, why?
Zero: It doesn’t suit your image.
Kaname: Whatever. You can think however you want.
Kaname: We’re so free. I might just doze off if I don’t drink this cold tea. It’s exceptionally delicious.
Zero: If you’re dissatisfied, then just make a new pot.
Kaname: It’s troublesome.
Zero: The truth is that you don’t know how to make tea, right?
Kaname: I know how to if it’s milk tea with herb and honey.
Kaname: You’ve been standing all this while; how about sitting down? The space where the Chairman sat is empty.
Zero: You’re right.
Zero: Are we going to be pointlessly locked up here just like that?
Kaname: If you’re unhappy, then just get out with all your might. Though I think that you haven’t left because Yuuki’s matter hasn’t been resolved.
Zero: Well, you must also be thinking that there’s still something that can be done.
Kaname: I was thinking that we should pretend to be close, even if it’s only in front of Yuuki.
Zero: Won’t she feel frightened and avoid us since it’s weird? She would think that we’re pretending to be good friends for some purpose.
Kaname: Yuuki’s intuition is not bad, so it would just add to her worries.
Zero: We either maintain the status quo, or-
Kaname: Have no choice but to really become friends.
Zero: *Sigh* Great, what should we do? First, let’s start from the surface, and gradually become accustomed to each other?
Kaname: We might as well. *sigh* What’s wrong? You’re frowning. But I thought it was a good idea.
Zero: Somehow or other, you seem to be enjoying this.
Kaname: I’m enjoying myself. On the surface, that is. I actually feel terrible on the inside, like there’s a hole in my chest. How about Kiryuu-kun?
Zero: I see. Talking to Kaname-senpai is fun. But that I mean it’s just an act. I actally feel nauseous.
Kaname: I’m aware that I’m doing something absurd.
Zero: It would be terrible if that’s not the case.
Chairman: Aiya~! I almost dropped the key to the Chairman’s office into the toilet~ I wonder how the two of them have become~ *laugh* Launching out and tormenting each other until someone falls backwards. “I’ll do you in.” “Me too. Watch out!” Is it unacceptable to want to see those two in deep action~ Lalalalala~
Chairman: Oh! I can hear voices coming from the other side of the door. *takes a deep breath* Let me see~ I’ll take a look at the situation inside from here.
Kaname: Eh~ is that so?
Zero: Anime targeted at children is also a good suggestion.
Kaname: Really? Good grief. How long does Yuuki intend to behave like a child? It must be tough on Kiryuu-kun too.
Zero: Nah, I’m cool. Yuuki is perfectly level-headed. Surely she must have inherited an excellent disposition from Kuran-senpai.
Kaname: I don’t do anything. Somehow, Yuuki is attached to me and comes to see me sometimes. That’s all. Please don’t make too much of it.
Zero: She’s always saying that Kaname-senpai is her benefector and a blessing to her. I know that I also have a lot of things that I must learn from Kuran-senpai, but…
Kaname: If it’s difficult to say it out, then you don’t have to. Even though things have become like this suddenly, it’s difficult to change your behaviour just as quickly. I’m not demanding anything. Take things slowly, it’s fine.
Zero: Senpai is actually kind.
Kaname: It’s no good, to be deceived by me like that. But seeing such a honest side of Kiryuu-kun, I want to know you even more.
Zero: I’m being deceived by senpai? *sigh* But even so, it’s fine.
Kaname: You’re such a fool.
Zero: If I realise that senpai is someone hopeless, that would surely be when you have betrayed the Chairman and Yuuki’s trust. Of course, I don’t think that such a day will ever come. But if I does, then I will certainly…
Kaname: Standing in the role of a hunter, kill me?
Zero: I’m sorry.
Kaname: Even if I’m killed, I won’t resent it. If it’s by you, whom I trust more than anyone.
Zero: Please don’t say that sort of thing, even if you’re just lying. I would be glared at by the Night Class even more.
Kaname: Then all the more you should transfer to the Night Class. The Chairman had also recommended you to do so once.
Zero: N- no… *sigh* I…
Kaname: It’s okay, you have all the qualifications.
Zero: But I don’t think it’ll work. There’s no way that I can get along well with the Night Class.
Kaname: Because you’ll be bullied.
Zero: Probably. And I won’t stay silent.
Kaname: Don’t worry; it’ll be fine. *sparkle* I’ll protect you.
Zero: *sigh* I’ll be hated even more then.
Kaname: Fine, I won’t protect you. That’s right, Kiryuu-kun might become looked down on. Sorry.
Zero: It’s okay. I’m happy that you want to protect me.
Kaname: Still, it’ll be fine if you just stand confidently beside me, because our friendship is real.
Zero: It’s heartening to hear this from Kuran-senpai.
Kaname: Then will you come? To the Night Class. I will take care of you.
Zero: I can’t.
Kaname: How stubborn. Why?
Zero: That I can’t say.
Kaname: I’ll give you a special seat.
Zero: Senpai, why do you go to such an extent for me?
Kaname: Do you want to know, Kiryuu-kun?
Zero: Kuran… senpai…
Chairman: Wah~! Amazing! What a wonderful progress! I thought that I might have taken too drastic a measure, but within such a short time, the problem that had sprouted ended up as such a beautiful friendship~ Look, Yuuki! Ah! I wanted Yuuki to see this the most, what a pity~! Oh, that’s right! Now’s the time to use the camera that I bought the other day!
Zero: It’s glaring!
Chairman: Yuuki! Yuuki! Somehow or other they have become so close! I’ll take a picture of this moment for Yuuki! I hope she’ll like it~ “Papa, just like the papparazi!” Something like that! Ah!
Chairman: Ah, ah!!! Kiryuu-kun what are you doing! My camera! My camera! My camera lens! The lens! The lens!!!
Zero: Sorry, Chairman. Somehow, I felt as though I was attacked by a weird old man, even though it was only for a moment.
Kaname: Chairman, can you treat Kiryuu-kun with more care?
Zero: No, you don’t have to specially cover me from behind, Kuran-senpai.
Kaname: What? You want to distance yourself from me? Do you dislike me?
Chairman: Hmm? What? They didn’t become good friends?
Kaname: Kiryuu-kun, time’s up.
Zero: As you please. I’m tired.
Chairman: Huh? What? Sitting down while completely exhausted?
Kaname: I was just playing a game with Kiryuu-kun.
Kaname: To explain right from the beginning, in order to improve Yuuki’s situation, even though it was against our will, we started from the surface, and gradually grew accustomed to this.
Chairman: An act.
Kaname: Eh, a “pretend to be close friends game” between Kiryuu-kun and me.
Chairman: Game… Hehehehehe! Game! The two of you! Playing just like kids! Hahahaha! How amusing!
Chairman: *laugh* No, mm, I understand! I wonder if Kaname-kun is overdoing it! I understand! But Kiryuu-kun, why did you go along with it? That’s stupid! *laugh*
Kaname: I already said that it was a game. To decide the winner by seeing who pulls out of the game first, even Kiryuu-kun finds this proposal difficult to refuse. It’s about willpower. He really is a cute junior.
Zero: Thank you. That’s right, it’s a great honour to be challenged to a game by the respectable Kuran-senpai.
Chairman: Ho ho ho~ The content is the opposite of the speech, with terrible malice implied. *deep breath* But it’s a pointless battle.
Kaname: For Yuuki.
Chairman: Ah! So that’s the case! The two of you are seriously battling for Yuuki! Darn! Laughing at the both of you for that, I’m very sorry! Don’t mind me, continue! How wonderful~! It’s youth~! Even though it’s unproductive.
Kaname: What now, Kiryuu-kun?
Zero: *sigh* In this situation, I’ll lose if I say I want to end this.
Kaname: Of course.
Chairman: Kaname-kun is not giving in.
Kaname: Not giving up?
Chairman: Kiryuu-kun, be careful~ It’s a dirty trap by Kaname-kun to torment you! He wants to drive you into a corner.
Kaname: The Chairman is noisy. Second game.
Zero: I won’t run away from a match with you, no matter how stupid it is. Absolutely. Even though this is really stupid.
Chairman: Ah~! Just as Kaname-kun has expected! But he doesn’t dislike it! This inexperienced side of Kiryuu-kun.
Kaname: To be so hated by my cute junior… it’s sad.
Zero: No, I like you very much, senpai.
Chairman: What’s with this… this atmosphere that is more chilly than before… If I knew that it’d turn out like this, I wouldn’t have lied about Yuuki’s baldness.
Zero: As I thought…
After that, the Chairman received his punishment for being noisy, and reflected on it. For a short while, he behaved like a proper adult. The photos taken by the camera were taken by Yuuki to her dorm after they were developed. Even though she didn’t quite understand them, she seemed delighted.